What if
by Godless Girl
Summary: What if...someone got stabbed on Vegas Night. What if...this event changed everything in Degrassi once again. What if... Eclare. One-shot. Maybe.
1. Clare

"You should go." Clare whispered, backing away slightly.

"And let pretty boy make time with my date?" Fitz taunted.

He stalked his way down the hall, his right hand playing with the switchblade. The barely-there moonlight shone especially on the cold silver blade, glinting and shining eerily. Clare felt her blood freeze, turning to slush in her veins as her chest contracted painfully. When she saw him pull out the knife, from his locker, her first reaction was fear. For Eli. She knew he would go after him, after humiliating him in front of the whole student body - or over half of it. Suddenly, she heard Eli's voice taunting her as well. _I told you so_.

"Please, Fitz, don't do this." Clare pleaded, wide doe-like eyes staring at him.

"Shut up, bitch!" Fitz yelled, causing her to stumble back.

Eli glared at him, no matter the situation, no ones yells at _his _Clare like that. No one. Eli wanted to punch Fitz for his indecency, but he knew any attempt would end in blood. So, he settled for comforting Clare. He took her arm, then tugged her behind him, making a block between her and Fitz. It was a feeble attempt but Eli would take a bullet for her, to do anything from hurting her. Because something happened to her, and he made it out alive, he would be pushed over the edge. Two girls he loved, dead because-

_Loved_. Did he just think that? Did he love her? God knows he would do anything for her, and it made his blood boil to see other guys watch her. Even worse when he found out she had agreed to go with Fitz, blowing him off just to end the feud. And it would've ended if he hadn't poisoned Fitz. If he would've known this was the outcome, he wouldn't have even dared to go to the dance.

"Aw, trying to a be hero, Emo-Boy." Fitz remarked, pushing Eli back. "What? No smart-ass comments?"

Fitz let out string after string of insults, each ending with a violent shove until his back was pressed against Clare's chest. Eli felt her heart, beating rapidly against his back. Fitz glared behind Eli, then a menacing expression crossed his face. Eli pressed closer against Clare, his own fear gripping him.

"I'm sorry. For everything. You win." Eli stated, voice pleading.

"Heard that before." Fitz snapped, hand tightening on the blade.

"Don't do this." Eli pleaded, he felt his eyes water.

"Someone's got to shut you up!" Fitz growled, and his arm shot forward.

Then, everything went in slow motion. Fitz smirked, his arm jerking forward. Eli tightened his eyes, waiting for the pain. And Clare slid out from behind Eli, opening her mouth in a plead. But then everything froze as a small gasp was made. It wasn't Eli's, it was too feminine, and it wasn't Fitz. So that left Clare, with her mouth open and her bright eyes wide in fear. Her breath shuttered as she sucked in, then left in a small cry before she slid down the wall with her hands hovering around the black and gold knife embedded in her chest.

"Clare!" Eli cried, dropping down next to her.

"Oh no, oh god no! I...I...I wasn't going to hurt anyone. I just wanted to scare you. Fuck! Goddammit! No!" Fitz rambled, hands sliding into his hair and tightening.

"E-Eli..." Clare whimpered, tears slipping down her pale cheeks.

"No. No! Not again, please, no!" Moaned Eli, grabbing Clare's hand and kissed it, his free hand cupping her cheek.

Fitz ran, pushing the doors open and bolting away from the scene. The blade was stuck in the middle of her chest, her breathing was shallow and she kept drooping her head. An officer came running up to them, she looked from Eli's stricken face to Clare's dulling one and ordered paramedics through her walkie-talkie.

Clare was fading, she felt it, she also felt a cough bubble up from her throat. This led to a spurt of blood dripping from her paling lips. She knew that she wouldn't make it. It wasn't possible. Fitz had punctured her lungs, and time was ticking by quickly. She gripped Eli's hand tightly - or as tight as her draining strength allowed - and tugged him closer.

"Eli..." Clare struggled, that simple two syllable word sent searing pain throughout her. "I...I love...you..."

"I love you, too, Clare. I love you so much. Please don't leave me. Please don't." He begged, he brought her hand to his chest. "Stay, please, I need you."

Clare whimpered, tears falling down her cheek and to her chin where it mingled with the blood. A pink droplet fell to her white dress, the striking color bleeding through the fabric. They stayed like that for awhile. Eli clutching her hand to his chest, his face in her shoulder with her's in his hair. He was sobbing freely, unable to control the anguish of losing another girl. Because of him.

Slowly, just as the paramedics rushed down the hall, Clare fell. She slipped from her body and into the consuming darkness. But she still heard the faint cries, of people yelling, someone sobbing her name. And then it was quiet, even her thoughts were muted. Save for a repeating image of bright green eyes in a pale face.


	2. Eli

Eli sat next to her bed, not bothering to leave. He was glued to the chair, gripping her hand desperately, while he watched her expressionless face. Her skin was paler than usual. From the faint glow of the moon that peaked through the window, her skin glittered and her hair turned into a subtle fire. Her pink lips glowed - in a thin line and taunt. Her lashes brushed her porcelain cheeks, glittering themselves. She was an angel. He was sure, beyond all doubt. And she died. That's what the doctors said, on the operating table, until they finally revived her after two minutes. That brought more tears, more pain.

He _knew_ this would happen. He _knew_ if he was with her, this would happen. But he ignored that little nagging voice and went for it. She was too irresistible. Too perfect to ignore. She was an angel from heaven, and Eli thought for sure she was there to save him. And she did. Her time was up. But by some miracle, by pity of God, he left one of his angels down here.

Eli brought her limp hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss on her palm. Tears falling again. He pressed her hand to his cheek while his other brushed her fiery hair. A sob escaped as his fingers fell from her face. A nurse had told him that he needed to leave, but he begged to stay, wept openly to let him stay with her during the night. If she were to wake up, at least she'd be with someone. Although, he was sure she hated him. Her heart wasn't meant for hate, but what he did was unforgivable, and even an angel like herself couldn't forgive him. Maybe this was God's punishment. Making him fall for a girl who would hate him forever.

Another sob slipped out, and he squeezed his eyes shut as more tears fell. He felt stupid, no, he felt weak. He had a reason to cry, but he should be strong for her. That was the least he could do, but as he thought it over more, he cried more. More sobs, more gasps, more agonized cries. Eventually, unconsciousness claimed him, his body exhausted. He dreamt of the color purple. A mixture of blue and red. But they marred his dreams, a nasty purple that left him in tears while he slept.

* * *

"Eli..." Someone called his name, stirring him.

A soft hand stroked his cheek, long nails sliding lightly across his cheek making goosebumps rise. "Wake up, love." That voice, so sweet, so beautiful. "Eli..."

He opened his eyes, though it hurt because they were sore. He tilted his head to see her. To see his angel. His breath hitched. Her hair was that cinnamon blonde again - no longer the fiery red. It framed her bright and rosy cheeks, and her eyes. God, her eyes. He missed them so much, feared he'd never see them again. They were as blue as ever in the gold sunlight that trickled into the room. Little jewels lined in black, the crevices so visible and held so many emotions. The sides crinkled slightly, from the soft smile that graced her fully pink lips. No longer the was she the taunting angel, she was his angel again.

"Clare." He stated, voice hoarse from his wails.

He sat up, staring at her in wonder, she looked so happy. Her hand stayed on his cheek and her thumb brushed back and forth on his cheekbone. With a shaky hand he took hers and repeated what he had the night before. His lips kissed her palm. Then her wrist. Her forearm. Her upperarm. Her shoulder. Her neck. Her jaw. She didn't hit him, she was lost in the moment. And she didn't want to hit him.

As his lips kissed every part of her face; nose, eyes, forehead, cheek, etc. she stopped him as he kissed the corners of her mouth. Her hands rested on either side of his face, hands gentle as always. Her eyes struck him, he was so close, he could make out all the creases in her blue eyes. He could make out the dark black surrounding them. Containing the dazzling blue.

"I love you," she whispered.

Dumbstruck, he followed her lead, leaning forward to kiss her. Restrained. That was the kiss. Because both of them feared the emotions that remained caged in their bodies. But, taking a leap of faith, Eli crawled besides her and wrapped an arm around her. His lips left hers, dragging down her cheek to her ear. Tears welled in his eyes and his hands scooped under arms and held her back. He felt weak again, letting his emotions to take over. But Clare cooed sweet words into his ear, hands stuck in his hair and tears in her eyes as well.

This time it was Clare to kiss him. She kissed his jaw, kissed his cheek, his forehead. His nose, his neck, his chin. Then his lips, unabashed. This time she let her emotions go, let them lead her to oblivion. Because that's how it felt to kiss Eli. She felt her heart soar, and yet her gut sink - in a good way. She felt like she was going to melt into him. That she was going to disappear and fly away. His lips were the only solid thing as they kissed, and they kissed her roughly. Needing to feel her, make sure that she was real.

Her hands tightened their hold, tugging Eli's hair and he moved his mouth against her own. His nails dug into her shoulders, but her mind was in a haze, focusing on his lips. On the reality. His tongue grazed her bottom lip. Clare didn't hesitate, simply opened her mouth and intertwined their tongues. A mixture of heat and mint rolled between their mouths. His tongue grazed her perfect teeth, the roof of her mouth, mapping out every detail he could find. Eli rolled her on top of him, scared to hurt her. His legs tangled with hers through sheets and her hands layed flat on his chest.

They pulled away, in unison, their breath stolen from the kiss. As if in sync, they panted, deep gulps of air to refill their deprived lungs. She smiled down at him, tears rolling down her round cheeks. She hung her head, hand clutching the dark shirt under his blood red blazer. Her curls covered her face, shadowed slightly. Bright, sparkling droplets fell to his shirts, splashing onto the dark fabric. More came, faster now.

"Clare..." Eli whispered, her name sweet on his tongue.

"I...I can't believe I almost lost you..." She whispered.

Her body shook, trembling and vibrating into him. Her head flung up, revealing an expression that would forever be etched into his mind. Streams of tears rolled down, diving for her chin and dropped quickly. Her blue eyes weren't the lovely bright color from before. Now, it was ice, cracked and broken, her pupils dilated so the black engulfed most of the blue. Her hair was wild and perfectly in place, a strand attached to her quivering lip.

"I know. I'm so sorry. I neve-"

"Don't. You never expected this to happen, I know. But it did." She took a shaky breath. "And the only way that I can be with you, is if you stop. Not for my safety. But for _your_ safety. I was so scared. I thought you were going to _die_. Right in front of me, in arms length. If you had just let it go, none of this would've happened."

Each word cut him, left him bleeding. He never meant for anything to happen, at least not like this. He could bear with himself to get hurt, but for Clare, she didn't deserve such a thing. He brought a hand to her cheek, brushing a tear. She took another shaky breath that ended in a sob. And that's when he knew that he would do anything for this girl. For this angel sent to torture him. Her perfection would ultimately shatter him, but the wonder she gave him would make up for it.

"I promise." I lifted my head and ghosted my lips to hers. "I love you, forever and always."


	3. Fitz

The rapid sound of footsteps were the only sound in the dark alley way. The omnious '_slap, slap, slap_' of sneakers hitting cold, wet pavement bounced off the brick walls. He ran, faster with each stride. Trying to get away from his emotions, away from the reality. But, as if God had forsaken him, he came to a dead end. The tall, red brick wall mocked him. In a surge of anger, he charged at the wall with a raised fist.

A sickening crack was heard, ending in an agonized moan. Fit let his knuckles stay in contact with the rough wall, trapping the blood that threatened to leak. He panted heavily, choking on the gulps. And all at once, all the fear, anguish, guilt, and sorrow slammed into him. Knocked his breath away and left him trembling.

_I killed her_, he thought.

At the thought, his stomach convulsed. Bile rose up from his stomach, to his throat, and exploded onto the ground next to him. For the second time that night, Fitz spilled the contents of his stomach, each time was due to spite. The first time was spite from someone else, this time, was because of himself. He tried to detach himself from the pain, the guilt. But it was consuming his entire being. Suffocating him.

In another surge of anger - no, pity for himself - he slammed his fist into the wall. The shock that run up his arm to his shoulderblade sent him reeling. For that spilt-second, his mind detached from the guilt, and focused on the physical pain. In hope - no, _need_ - for a release of the overbearing guitl, he attacked the wall. Grunts and cracks filled in the closed space. His blood smeared the the wall, blending in the the auburn colored stone.

But, all too soon, his arm was numbed to the point that it wouldn't respond to the simple task of twitching a finger. He couldn't feel it, couldn't feel the muscles or the the blood gushing from the ripped knuckles. With that numb, he was left with the real pain. The pain that caused him to fall to his knees and let out a scream of frustration.

_I killed her, I killed her, I killed her_. He chanted in his head, with each chant, he saw her face. The gorgeous face, the face of innocence, the face of perfection. Bright curls surround her round face, rosy cheeks and full lips. Bright blue eyes, brighter than the gleam of the ocean, cursed him. No longer sweet and gentle, but a raging blue fire that sent waves of hatred toward him.

Fitz never cried. He didn't allow it. Not when his father beat him. Not when his mother left. Not when his only friend - his dog - had been killed in front of him. Never. Because that showed weakness. And Mark Fitzgerald was never weak.

But in that abandoned alley, when the only light was from the pale moon - so much like _her_ beautiful porcilean skin - he allowed it. He allowed the tears. Allowed the trembling of his body as baby-like sobs escaped him. Because he had killed her. The pure essences of innocences. She was dead. Because of him.

All night, he was slowly losing his sanity. His father's voice mocking him - _fucking screw up, can't do nothin' right_, his mother's voice downing him - _you're not worth my time, you'll just end up like your father. A dead beat_, his dog's wails of pain. And his own voice, taunting him the truth - _she's dead, because of you_. He was glad no one searched for him. Because they would've found him curled in the corner of the alley, blubbering like a lost child, next to the evermore disgusting pile of vomit.

Unconciousness claimed him eventually. His tearstained face leaning against the gritty brick wall that bit into his cheek. Anger red marks would scar his cheek, the blood mixing with lingering tears. His red-rimmed puffy eyes closed painfully, leaving him to the horrors of his dream land.

_Fuck-up..._

_Good for nothing..._

_Please, don't do this..._

_What did you do..._

_She's dead..._

_She's dead..._

_Because of me..._


	4. Alli

She curled into balls on the pavement, rocking slowly as Jenna hugged her shoulder. Everything was fucked up. This doesn't happen in real life. Only in soap opera's and movies. But it was so real, it was so...painful. Her boyfriend cheated on her with the school slut, then his mother turns around and calls _her_ the slut. And now, as red lights flashed across the parking lot of Degrassi, her best friend was being carried away on a stretcher.

Life couldn't be more fucked up. It couldn't possibly be worse than it is right now. Alli was sure that her life would never turn worse than it was now. More tears welled in her eyes as she watched the paramedics quickly slam the doors of the ambulance - her best friend being carried away for Emergency surgery.

She saw a black smudge at the corner of her eye move, turning she saw Eli darting towards his hearse. In a surge of panic and need, she bolted upright and raced after him as fast as her heels allowed. When she reached him, he just started his hearse.

"Take me with you." She pleaded, more tears falling.

He just nodded and motioned for her to slide in. Right beside her was Jenna, who hopped in with Alli. Eli sped out of the school as fast as 'Morty' allowed, coming close behind the ambulance that raced through the streets of Toronto. She wringed her hands constantly, more tears threatening to spill. And they did fall as she rushed into the hospital with Eli and Jenna on her tail.

* * *

She was sure nothing had her scared more than she was now. Just sitting in the hospital waiting room...waiting. The room was too cheery, so unlike the mood that hung in the room. Pastel pink walls with a sick off-white trimming. Hard, wooden and plastic chairs and an obnoxiously bulky television hanging from the ceiling. The white tiled floor was speckled in confetti-type markings - the ugly white light bouncing off the shiny white floor.

Eli was in the farthest corner of the room, clenching his hand to prevent tears from falling. But Alli saw his eyes cloud, and saw how his jaw would clench considerably. One tear managed to slip, and he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his legs and bury his face in his palms.

Jenna wasn't as good as Eli in keeping in her pain, her lip was quivering and every so often she burst into tears. Alli blamed it on hormones, which prompted the call at eleven from her brother - who told her he'd pick her up, and that was about ten minutes ago. So that left Alli and Eli in the room, both trying to stop the pain that seemed to overwhelm them.

Alli's phone buzzed in her purse, causing her to jump slightly. She stifled through her purse before finding the offending object and flipped it open. Her brows furrowed as she didn't reckognize the number. She was about to delete the message all together before she saw the word '_adam_' in the text.

_Unknown Number: hey, alli, it's adam. eli wont answer my texts and i hope you answer this. hows clare? plz update me as soon as anything new comes up._

Alli gulped and started for the keys on her cell phone when someone cleared their throat. She looked up to see a tall, bulbus man in green scrubs stand awkwardly in the doorway. He looked down, then up, and switched his gaze between Eli and Alli. He coughed and prompted both teens to shift to face him.

"We haven't been able to get into contact with Clare's parents, but we have with her grandmother. She should be here shortly." He said, Alli felt her hands tremble.

"Is she okay?" Eli dared to ask, his own voice shaking.

"Perfect actually. Though we had a scare, but we got her heart going again. She'll just have a small scar in the middle of her chest. It should heal over time." The doctor said, Alli let out a choked sob. "It's okay, Miss, she's going to fine."

"I know, and that's why I'm crying!" She snapped, fingers flying over the keyboard of her cell phone.

_She's going to be okay! The doctor just told me!_

"Well, alright then. I suggest that you both go home, it's getting pretty late." He said before walking out.

"Wait!" Eli called, bolting from his seat. "Can I...can I see her? Please."

"Well, son, vis-"

"Please! I just...I just need to see her..." Eli pleaded, his voice cracking.

"I understand bu-"

"Goddammit, I just want to see if she's alive for gods-sakes. I fucking watched her get stabbed, the least you can give me is to let me see her." Eli snapped, unabashed by the tears falling from his eyes.

"I understand, but hospital co-"

"For fucking gods-sakes! Can you let him see her? He's over here begging to see his girlfriend, who just got stabbed! And his last girlfriend _died_! Stop being a dick, say fuck the rules, and let him see her!" Alli yelled, in the process she stood up and had her own tears falling.

"I...I understand." He said, looking surprised at her outburst. "I'll give you until twelve."

"Thank you." Eli sighed, and followed the man out of the room.

Alli stayed, she knew she wouldn't be able to stand seeing her friend like she was now. So she called her parent's - who were probably riding Sav about the whole 'stripping' ordeal. She punched in the numbers, expecting it to ring for awhile, but her mother picked up on the first ring.

"Alli! Where are you?" Her mother yelped.

"I-I'm at the h-hospital." Her voice shook.

"Why in the world are you at the hospital?" She cried, Alli cringed.

"C-Clare got stabbed!" She cried, falling into the chair.

"Your father will be right there, sweetheart. It's going to be okay." Her mother cooed, causing a small smile to grace Alli's lips.

"I know, Mom. C-Can you stay on the phone until Dad comes?" She asked, feeling like she was five once again.

"Of course, just go wait on by the door of the hospital." Her mother cooed once again, soothing Alli as she left the waiting room.

"Mom..." Alli whimpered, crossing one of her arms awhile she walked.

"Yes, dear?" She questioned, voice all the more calm.

"I was so scared." She sobbed, nails digging into her forearm.

"I know, I know." Her mother sighed, feeling her own eyes prick with tears.

Alli stepped into the elevator with a sickly old man in a wheelchair and a guy with a broken arm. She shivered, the wheeze of the old man sending jolts of fear with each breath. When she reached the bottom floor, her father was already waiting for her in the lobby. She ran up to him and dropped everything behind her, wrapping her arms around his torso and cried.

"Daddy." She cried, rubbing her face in his chest.

"Shh, it is alright." He said, petting her hair before wrapping his arms around her while she cried.

That night, no one really slept. Her father and mother spent half the night worrying about Sav and Alli, even Clare after Alli sobbed her way through the story of why she was at the hospital. Sav looked close to tears through the story, sniffling when I mentioned how they had to start up her heart again.

Alli didn't bother with putting on her pajamas. She just took off her clothes, undid her hair and curled up in a ball to cry over everything. Of Drew. Bianca. Drew's Mother. And Clare. At the thought of Clare, she saw her, in a hospital bed with I.V.'s attached to her like puppet strings.

But, after the horrific thought, her tears dried and sleep claimed her. Her dreams, well, they were better than reality. Not all fluffy rainbows and unicorns. But of happier times. Before Drew. Before Johnny. Before high school. When she was five, watching her father as he made up impossible fairytales that made her smile.


	5. Adam

Adam watched in horror as Clare was carried away on a stretcher. Everything went in slow motion as he watched her roll by. A breathing mask was placed over her face, misting and fogging with each labored breath she took. She looked pale, abnormally pale, and paramedics were pressing a damp red cloth to her chest. Adam's fists clenched and unclenched, getting clammy with each blink of an eye as she passed.

Blood roared in his ears, drowning out the sirens of police cars and his mother's yells. Unbenounced to him, his legs started moving towards the exit of Degrassi with the paramedics. His eyes fixated on the bleeding girl on the stretcher. He made it to the bottom step before someone grabbed his arm; tugging him out of the dream-like trance.

"Where do you think you're going?" His mother asked.

"I..." He lost his voice as he looked into his mother's anger eyes/

He looked away from her, and down at his shoes, where they turned into black smudges as his vision blurred. He took a shuddering breath and tugged his arm out of his mother's grasp. Clare was dying, he knew it, deep down in his gut. Fitz had stabbed her. But _why_? Why Clare, of all people?

"Answer me." His mother ordered.

"For god-sakes shut up! One of the few people who accept me as Adam is being carried away on a stretcher." He snapped, looking up at his mother as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Adam..." She trailed off, somewhat surprised.

"All you could do is yell at Drew for being in a boiler room, not _doing_ anything, while one of my only friend's was stabbed!" He yelled, sneering at his mother.

"Don't speak to me like that! I know perfectly we-"

"No you don't! You don't know anything! You don't know that Alli never did anything with Drew, you don't know that he _cheated _on her with the girl that gave away my secret. You don't know the girl whose dying on her way to the hospital! You don't know how I finally felt accepted by someone, and sadly, she wasn't even family!" Yelled Adam, turning away from her.

"Get in the car, right now. We'll discuss this at home." She said, marching over to the parking lot.

"No, we won't. Because once we do, you'll send us to our rooms, go to your liquor cabinet, and get wasted." Adam snapped. "And I don't expect anything less. So save me the pity, and the argument, and just take me to the hospital."

"How dare you, Gracie!" She started, but froze as that name slipped from her mouth.

Adam glared at her, and he couldn't have looked more defiant. Part of his face was shadowed as red lights zipped across his face, briefly illuminating the streaks of tears that glittered down his cheek. He held his chin up, his dark eyes swimming in oncoming tears, and his lips were made in a taunt line.

"I'm staying with Uncle David tonight." Adam announced, turning away and marched back into the school.

Adam didn't look back, he knew she wouldn't come after him. Not after that. She screwed up and she knew there wasn't anything she oculd do but give him space. Drew just stayed glued to the ground, a defeated expression on his face. He whipped out his phone and texted Eli, and waited about four minutes before sending another one. After another ten minutes, he sent another. He noticed Dave walking by with his head low, sulking his way to the Degrassi entrance.

"Hey! Dave, wait up!" Adam called, said boy turned rigid and turned around to see Adam.

"What's up?" He asked, voice a little shaky.

"Do you know Alli's number? I think she left with Eli to go to the hospital." Adam asked, fidgetting.

"Oh, um, yeah. Here." Dave took Adam's cell phone and quickly typed it in.

After he gave the phone back, they did a weird bro-hug. They didn't know each other well, but the moment called for some sort of thank you. Dave waved him off while Adam typed a message and sent it as quickly as possible. He felt his stomach sink when it sent.

_What if she isn't okay? What if she really was dead?_ Adam shivered at the thought, and headed outside to let the cold air wash across him. His phone went off in his pocket and he grabbed it hurriedly.

_She's going to be okay! The doctor just told me!_

Adam felt a surge of relief and he let out a long breath. Once he calmed himself down, he went through his contacts until he came across his Uncle's phone number. He got the voicemail at first, so Adam hung up, then called again. This time a deep grumble was heard after the fourth ring.

"Who the hell is calling me at midnight?" His Uncle David growled, voice groggy.

"Hey Uncle David..." Adam trailed off.

"Adam?" He asked, confused.

"Yeah, um, I need you to pick me up. I'm at Degrassi. I was wondering if I could stay the night." Adam muttered, looking down at the ground.

"What did your mother do?" Uncle David snapped, the sound of movement on the other line gave Adam a 'yes' to staying.

"Nothing. Everything. I'll explain when you get here." Adam sighed and hung up after his Uncle said good-bye.

The next twenty minutes, Adam contemplated how long he'd be staying at his Uncle's. He was a therapist - gay might he add - and he understood Adam's dilemma to a point. His sister shunned him after hearing he was gay, but that didn't stop his Uncle from going to rallies and protests. A bright blue car pulled up near the steps of Degrassi and Adam promptly stood and walked to the car. He gave Degrassi one final glance, hand on the car door and frowned. Simpson had announced there would be changes, _big _changes. Even now he saw Mr. Simpson pacing the hallway and shooing lingering students.

About halfway towards his Uncle's house, Adam spoke. "One of my best friend's was stabbed."

"_What_?" Uncle David exclaimed.

"She knew about my trans-gender, too, and she accepted me. As Adam." Adam sighed, clenching his fists as tears threatened to fall. "She almost died tonight, and my last memory of her is being put in an ambulance. Mom didn't even care. She didn't want me to go because Drew supposedly fooled around with his girlfriend - which he didn't. We argued," Adam felt a tear slip. "And she called me Gracie."

"Adam..." His Uncle let out a sigh himself.

"You know what really _fucking_ sucks." Adam looked up and stared at his Uncle. "That girl, Clare's her name, she's perfect. In every single way. She's Christian, is abstinent, goes to church every Sunday. Gets great grades, smart beyond belief, and she screams innocence. But, she accepted me, something that goes against her very religion. And tonight," Adam choked and looked down at his clenched fists. "that girl almost died."

The rest of the car ride was silent, his Uncle was at a loss of words. He'd never heard Adam so upset, not even when he cried about his mother's rejection of Adam. This Clare, whoever she is, made a lasting impression on the crying boy beside him. And he wasn't sure if it was good or bad. But when they pulled into his driveway, he placed a hand on Adam's shoulder, Adam hung his head.

"She's not even family, and she accepted me more than anyone in this family. Even you." Adam looked up at his Uncle, jaw clenched. "As much as it hurts to say, I know you don't like it. You may fight for people like me, but I know you don't accept them."

His Uncle shook his head, trying to ignore the blunt truth that Adam spoke. "I know."

"I think it's time things changed. I don't expect you to like this idea, but I want to move in with you, if it's okay. Even if it's for just the break. But I need to be away from my mom." Adam said, his Uncle smiled.

"Yes. It is. And you're more than welcome." He said before getting out of the car.

Adam hesitated at the front steps of the house, and he tilted his head up to look at the sky. He noted that the sky was a tiny bit bluer, the sun was to rise soon - engulfing the star in it's bright radiance. A new day, a new start. Adam felt a surge of relief flood him before walking back into the house.


	6. KC

Shame. That's all K.C. felt as he watched his first real love be pushed through Degrassi doors on a stretcher. His eyes focused on the mask covering her mouth, her breath fogging the clear plastic. His gut twisted painfully as he noticed the bright red clothe pressed onto her chest. He moved his face away, focusing on something else. But, as luck would have it, his eyes locked with Jenna. More shame filled him and he dropped his gaze to the gutter in front of him. He let out a dark chuckle, figures he'd end up there.

His eyes moved up to see paramedics slamming the doors to the ambulance before it zoomed off into the distance. His gaze fell once again. He was heartless. Pathetic. He broke Clare's heart, and ended up losing the one he left her for. Because she was pregnant. The thought made him shudder, visibly as well. Truth be told, it wasn't that he was heartless. No. He was scared. A coward of sorts. With Clare, it always felt like she was too good for him. That, eventually, she'd break up with him for someone who really deserved her. And he didn't want that, because, well, he was in love with her. Still is to this day, but he masked his love with Jenna.

Jenna. The Fill-In, as he would like to call her. Because he didn't love her, never will, because his heart belonged to the girl in the ambulance. And when he heard that Jenna was pregnant, he knew he had to break his ties. Because he knew he'd come to despise the child. And not because of Jenna, but because he dearly wished for the bastard not to exsist. Though, with Jenna late in the pregnancy, she could give up to baby. So K.C. simply broke up with her. Cut his losses, though there were none. But, more shame filled him. God, he was a coward. Weak, stupid, and childish. His ego and pride deflated, leaving him as an empty shell.

Maybe he should just be there, for Jenna. He didn't have to be involved with the baby, but the least he could do was help. So, taking a breath, he looked back over to where Jenna was. Or had been. She wasn't there anymore. His stomach dropped and he dug his hands in his pockets. How stupid! He jumped from the curb and started walking aimlessly through the night.

The streets were dark, the some lamps had died or either just had faulty wiring. But he didn't mind. The hum of the lights would distract him, and he wanted to think. Which he did. Although, his mind kept flitting over memories. Triggered by places he passed. The Dot, where he found out Jenna was pregnant. The park, where he cuddled with Jenna under the stars. The swings, where he pushed Jenna in the bright sunlight - happier times.

Before he knew it, he was standing outside Jenna's apartment building. His eyes narrowed, how could this happen? Jenna lived nearly all the way across town. Shaking his head, he began walking away, passing the alley where he'd sneak in and up the fire-scape to Jenna's room. Lights flashed around a nearby corner, and instinctively, K.C. jumped into the dark, damp alley.

Jenna's brother pulled into his parking space, going around to help Jenna out of the truck. She slid out, her stomach making it near impossible for her to keep balance. By the faint light of a street lamp, her saw her red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face. His stomach sank further, weighing him down. What happened?

"She's going to be okay." Her brother said, rubbing her shoulder as he led her to the front door. "Alli text-ed you, the doctor said so."

Suddenly, K.C. felt a bit lighter, a bit happier. _Clare was alright!_ But he noticed Jenna sniffle some more. His gut dropped a bit lower. Jenna shook her head and shoved the door open, ignoring her brother and stomped up the stairs. K.C. let out a breath and was about to leave, but his feet stayed planted on the ground.

He tilted his head up, eyes tracing each individual window until he found hers. In an instant, the light flicked on and K.C. knew what he had to do. After nights of practice, he climbed the dumpster, leaped onto the ladder and fell down with it. Then he ascended up to fire-scape until he reached her window. He gave it a light tap. No response. A little louder this time.

Jenna threw the curtain to the side, shock evident on her face, before scowling and dropping the dark blue fabric. He let out a huff and opened the window himself, sliding in. Jenna was at the other end of her room, frown on her face.

"_What the hell are you doing here?_" She growled, crossing her arms over her plump stomach.

"_I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry. For everything. For getting you pregnant. Abandoning you. Truth be told, Jenna,_" K.C. took a breath. "_I'm a fucking coward. One hundred and ten percent coward. I got together with you because I was afraid that Clare would leave you. I was afraid of leaving the group home, to live with my mom. I was afraid when I found out you were pregnant. And I was a complete idiot for dumping it all on you._"

"_K.C..._" She looked upset and walked up to K.C. who was clenching his fists. "_Don't you think I'm scared, too? I mean, I'm only a sophmore in high school and I'm pregnant. Not only that, but I'm on Next Teen Star. You know how stressful that is. And the fact that you just left me there, to fend for myself. I was, still am, scared out of my mind._"

"_I want to be there for you. For this baby. Well, I can't say I want to be with the baby. As much as you must hate me for this, I'd like you to consider on giving the baby up for adoption._" K.C. started, Jenna gave another scowl and moved her hand from his shoulder to cross her arms. "_Jenna. We're sophomore's in high school, like you said. We're way too young to be able to deal with this properly. I'm not saying it for my sake but for both our sake's. We deserve lives. And I'm sure a foster home would provide the kid better than we could._"

Jenna sighed, looking defeated. "_I...I don't know. I'll think about it. Okay? We've got four months._"

K.C. nodded and tilted Jenna's chin up with his thumb and forefinger. "_Call me if you need anything_."

K.C. left with a kiss on her forehead and jumped out the window, scurrying down the fire-scape and to the damp alleyway. Once his feet hit the pavement, he swore he heard some scream. He shivered and walked back home, knowing he'd probably be scolded by his mother when he got there. And he was right. She was yelling furiously but K.C. just took the punishment and went to bed. Sinking into his mattress, enjoying the soft inviting warmth.


End file.
